Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain...Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Procrastination and Sacrificial Love

I confess that procrastination has always been one of my biggest sins.  Whether it was with "Thank You" notes when I was 12, homework when I was 15, memorizing recital music when I was in college, or blogging when I'm...ahem... Anyway.  I procrastinate.  I've confessed it, now I have to fix it.  Moving on.

These first several months have been so full! 
Full of joy. 

Full of running on fumes. 

Full of trying to figure this new little creature out. 
Full of frustration when I think I've figured her out, and then she throws me a curve ball.
Full of tearing up watching my sweet husband with a baby girl.

Full of loving the Lord more than I love my husband, and loving my husband more than my baby girl.

...record stops...  YES!  That's what I said.  Why is that so hard for the world to understand?  What?  It's a different kind of love?  Sure, sure, I hear ya.  But wait. Is it really?  In a sense I guess it is, but then again it seems to me that there is a huge common denominator to these different kinds of love.  Sacrifice.  You sacrifice your time, sleep, entertainment, and occasionally even your daily shower.  Still...

I mustn't sacrifice time with the Lord to serve my husband. 
I mustn't sacrifice time with my husband to serve my child. 

Do I let my husband run out of clean clothes because I didn't have time with the Lord?   ...No. 
Do I let my child scream for 30 minutes because I need to cook for my husband? 
 ...No, no, no. 

So what's my point?  There is a way.  Being a child of God, a submissive wife, and loving Mother is one G.I.G.A.N.T.I.C juggling act.  But, there is a way.

There is a way to make sure my time with the Lord comes first
and my child is fed and happy when my husband is ready for supper and "us time"
and I am all the while showered, dressed, and with a powdered nose for said "us time." 

There IS A WAY! 


"Lord?!  Can't I fly by the seat of my pants like I've always done and some how You help me miraculously bring it all together for the deadline?"

 ...Nope. Because, see, you'll realize you don't have an important ingredient for supper and have to go to the'll have to feed your baby before you leave, only your baby will be cranky and distracted and it will take much longer than will finally finish feeding her 40 minutes later and then struggle through dressing your cranky baby because you don't want her to scream her head off because she has a runny nose and crying only makes breathing more difficult for will put the heavy coat on your tiny baby and squeeze the hat on her head and snap her into the carseat and put a blanket over her and put on your own snow gear and open the door only to realize that it has snowed 4 inches since you last looked outside and now you have to go scrape your car and shovel your driveway to get out to go to the store...which is going to take a good 10 you take your baby out of the carseat? Or let her scream?  OK you leave her in and pray she can breathe through at least one nostril by the time you get back inside and praise the Lord for "Little Noses Saline Drops" scrape the car and shovel the driveway and come back inside to pick up your baby and know that she will be so happy if we can just get in the moving car and she can sleep for 5 get in the car...shut the door and realize you left the pacifier on the coffee table...there's no WAY you're risking a grocery store trip without the golden pacifier, so you go back inside, praying the neighbors don't see you leaving your baby in the car in 4 degree weather, even if it is for 27 get back in the car, take off, get halfway to the grocery store...and BOOM...disaster strikes...(oh that's why she didn't want to eat)...she's screaming get to the store and realize there is no way you can take your child only have 2 wipes in the diaper bag no spare set of clothes with get back in the car and head back bring the baby inside and notice the entire carseat cover needs to go into the washing machine immediately...not to mention your fill the tub and bathe the baby...dress her once again...step out of the nursery in a full blown sweat and your husband walks in the door from a long stressful day at work, trips over your snow boots and says, "Hi Honey, what's for dinner?"

All this with only 1, ONE, UNO, child!!!
These are the simple joys of motherhood...which can be made beautiful by not allowing procrastination to be an option.  Of course, it's just a piece of the puzzle, but for me, it's a big piece.  I have honestly enjoyed learning the hard way and I still have a lot of learning left to do.  I realize now that planning ahead can be so very fruitful.  When you have planned ahead (WAY ahead), and your husband walks in the door to a clean house, a happy baby, and a hot supper - the Lord fills you up with a joy like none other.  Or when you can walk out of the house slowly for church on Sunday with a full and fully dressed baby, a pleasant mood between you and your husband, and a cup of joe in your hand...He will BLESS YOU!  It won't happen every day.  We will all fall short every now and then.  But the important thing to remember is - you are doing it to please the Lord!  Not to appear to be supermom.  Not to merely please your husband.  Hopefully as time goes on, I will feel comfortable sharing some specific tips on this subject.  But until then, I'll let the Word do the talking.

The way of the lazy is as a hedge of thorns,
But the path of the upright is a highway.
Proverbs 15:19

Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys.
Proverbs 18:9

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men
Colossians 3:23

The hand of the diligent will rule,
But the slack hand will be put to forced labor
Proverbs 12:24

Description of a Worthy Woman

10An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
14She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
15She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
16She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
18She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
20She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
25Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
26She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
29“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.


  1. Hi. You probably don't know me...I graduated from LHS a couple years after you and your sister and my sister graduated together. I've read your blog a couple times from Jessica Ryan's blog. I saw the title of this post on her blogroll and decided to read it. I just wanted to let you know how much this post reminds me of myself. We have twins who are 22 months old. I would describe myself as the worlds best procrastinator. I remember telling my mom once that I would write my paper better if I waited until the last minute. Anyways, I write all this to say how much this post was an encouragement to me to not procrastinate so that I can, as you said, love the Lord more than my husband and my husband more than my twins... Your baby girl is beautiful. I promise the days will get easier. :)
    -Kathy (Winn) Henson

  2. this is beautiful Victoria! Thank you for sharing your heart. :) And such rich wisdom to live by as a wife and mother: putting your priorities in order (the Lord, husband, then children,) AND the importance of planning ahead. I think the only thing that gets easier about motherhood is the learning curve for dying to self. Each stage presents it's own new challenges that seem as equally frustrating as the stage before. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to ever (EVER) get it "together" but I am finding it easier as I grow as a mother to surrender my selfish desires to His will to serve my family. Your daughter is absolutely beautiful!!
    Thank you for sharing such sweet words of encouragement this evening! :)

  3. Victoria, what a true post! I think every mother on the planet has lived through that grocery store scenario! What an honest reflection, thank you for sharing and reminding the rest of us that none of us is alone. My bible study group is reading a great book you might enjoy if you haven't already discovered it. It's called Mothers of the Bible Speak to Mothers of Today.

  4. AMEN, Victoria! George is 10 months old, and after a heart-to-heart with John we FINALLY came up with a daily family schedule this week. It will be our life raft. It is so helpful for me to know what I need to get done each day and for HIM to know what I need to get done each day, AND what he needs to do as well. That way even when I don't "feel" like it, I know what I have to do in order to stay on track. We even have two options for what's for dinner that day on the schedule so he knows what he's coming home to, and I know what stuff I have to have. I think it will make all the difference in our happiness and our family life, and will be the ONLY way we could make it with more than one child when that day comes. We discovered very quickly that without it, we aren't even good parents of ONE!